


The First Real Choice

by PalmettoFoxDen



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: AU where Andrew is with Kevin instead of Neil, M/M, Set during the summer between Neil's first and second year at PSU, While Jean is still in Palmetto before Trojan summer training starts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 02:08:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15378390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalmettoFoxDen/pseuds/PalmettoFoxDen
Summary: Jean and Neil start something up while Jean is still staying in Palmetto until Trojan summer training starts, but they're not sure if it will last when they're on different teams and at different universities.





	The First Real Choice

Jean had already signed to the USC Trojans for his next season, but he was staying with the leftover Foxes in Palmetto until it was time for the Trojans' summer training to start since Jean had no family and nowhere else to go and Abby told him he was welcome to stay there for the entire summer if he wanted. Jean could have gone with Renee to stay with her family, but he didn't want to impose and ruin her summer. He didn't want her taking care of him and watching him heal instead of enjoying her own break away from campus.

So, Jean was staying at Abby's house with Kevin, Neil, and the cousins. Abby had an extraordinary number of extra beds for any Foxes who may need to stay over, but there were six of them staying with her and only four spare beds. Jean had automatically gained a bed because he had started off on bedrest and ended up with a room all to himself which was a blessing after years of being stuck sharing a room and under constant supervision at Evermore.

Kevin and Andrew tended to share a room, except when Kevin decided to stay over at his father's apartment instead or when Andrew was annoyed enough with one of his group to spend the night on Wymack's couch instead of at Abby's place. Aaron and Nicky each got a bed to themselves. That left Neil on the couch since he was the newest to their group, so it was up to him to endure it. Neil had said he hadn’t cared since he had slept far worse places and Nicky had made a big production about how tragic Neil was. Neil hadn't been sleeping on the couch a whole lot lately though since it turned out that Jean didn't mind sharing a bedroom so much when he got to choose his roommate.

When Jean had healed enough that Abby had stopped threatening to call the Trojans' team doctor and tell them that he needed to sit the start of the season for his own good if he dared to step on the court, he had known that it was going to take a lot of practice to get anywhere near his former skill level after all of the time spent off of the court and on bedrest. He needed to strengthen his body, but he also needed to get rid of some of the rustiness.

Kevin still practiced every day and roped Andrew and Neil into joining him, Neil eagerly and Andrew begrudgingly. Jean did not think that he was ready to be on a court with Kevin again, so he did not join their practices. He needed a striker to practice against though, so he started up his own daily practices with Neil while Andrew made Kevin spend time with him away from the court in exchange for participating in his practices.

At first, Jean hadn't been particularly comfortable around Neil. He was more familiar than most of the others but came with less baggage to unpack than Kevin. Maybe, Jean had admired Neil for going against Riko for a long time and maybe he still felt a sense of connection from their time partnered in the Nest, but he certainly did not expect anything to develop between him and Neil.

The first few weeks were volatile. Jean kept calling him Nathaniel out of habit since that had always been what he had been referred to as by the Ravens and it was the name he'd had to go by during his time at Castle Evermore. Neil had not been shy to correct him and had not concealed his bad attitude at being referred to as his birth name. He didn't ignore Jean or treat him like he was broken like most had since his injuries. Neil called him on his mistakes and it was exhilarating.

"I am _not_ Nathaniel," Neil had spat at him one day. "That is the name my father gave me and I won't be like him. Neil Josten is my legal name now. Learn it instead of spouting out whatever Riko told you to."

After a while, Jean started slipping up less and less often. Neil was his own person, not the property Riko had wanted to turn him into and Jean admired him greatly for it. And more importantly, Neil wouldn't let Jean be the person Riko had tried to mold him into. Neil helped remind Jean that he could fight what Riko had tried to force him to become. Neil reminded him to fight and didn't let Jean get away with any of the bad habits that had become so ingrained in him that he didn't even realize he had them and that was what made Jean fall for him.

Slowly, Jean’s unreciprocated feelings for Renee faded and were replaced by feelings for Neil that he confided in Renee about during their daily text conversations.

Neil became a sort of new partner for Jean in Palmetto. Jean was more comfortable with him than the other Foxes and he liked spending time with him more and more. When he stopped calling him by the wrong name by accident, Neil started spending more time with him too without ending up intermittently angry at him. Sometimes he even smiled at Jean or laughed when Jean said something nasty about Riko or the Ravens or the other Foxes they were forced to live with. Jean couldn’t face any real consequences beyond simple rejection in this scenario and that wasn’t so terrifying after everything that had happened to him before and everything that could happen to a Raven that was caught having actual feelings for someone else, especially someone who was not a teammate and could potentially be a threat to their loyalty to the team.

So, one day after practice, Jean kissed Neil because he wanted to. Neil was surprised and so disoriented by it that he had even stopped running his mouth for several minutes.

Jean had left it at that to see if Neil was interested or not. At first, he had thought that Neil wasn’t. Things went back to the way they were and they practiced together and complained to each other and laughed at each other’s jokes at others’ expenses, but the kiss didn’t come up again at all. But then a couple days later, Neil had come back and said that he wasn’t used to liking kissing, but he liked it with Jean and he wanted to try it out more. So they had and they soon developed a routine of practicing together and then spending time alone around the empty campus without the rest of Andrew’s lot around. Shortly after that, Neil started spending more and more of his nights in Jean’s room instead of on the couch.

Jean wasn’t sure what any of it meant to Neil, but he didn’t think that it particularly mattered to him. He liked Neil and he was happy to take what he could get from him for as long as he could when something like what they had had never been a possibility for him before. He hadn’t meant to grow so comfortable in their routine. He hadn’t meant to become so attached to Neil in a short time, but Ravens weren’t good at being alone and he couldn’t make himself regret his feelings for Neil like he hadn’t been able to make himself regret his unrequited feelings for Renee before.

It was nice to remember that he was capable of feeling, even if he knew that he could end up getting hurt because of it. It was terrifying and thrilling to have something good enough that it could hurt to lose it.

* * *

It was late when Neil snuck into Jean’s room again, but Jean was awake and waiting for him like always.

“Why do you sneak in like this?” Jean asked and the question took Neil by surprise. “Why are we hiding?”

“Haven’t you heard?” Neil asked as he crawled into the bed. “Lying and hiding what’s important is my default setting.”

Jean slid closer to kiss him, then raised a brow and asked, “Oh, so I’m important?”

“I was expecting to be dead by now,” Neil said. “And instead I’m alive and have the Foxes and whatever this is and a future.”

Jean frowned. Neil wasn’t sure if he had made a mistake mentioning a future in the same sentence as whatever they were. Jean was moving to USC before the end of the summer and this had been a chance at freedom for them both, but Neil wasn’t sure what would happen when Jean moved away. That was just one more countdown for Neil to ignore, but at least this one would only result in a move and not death.

“We both have our own futures now,” Jean said. “But what happens when I move?”

Neil wasn’t used to relationships. He wasn’t used to the idea of having a future. This was all new territory for him.

“I don’t want to think about when you move,” Neil said and he kissed at Jean’s neck, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

“I do,” Jean said and Neil froze, then pulled away to look him in the eye. “I am glad that I get to be out on my own and that I don’t have to stay by one person’s side or only go where I am told.”

Neil prepared himself for Jean to tell him that he had no intention of continuing anything with him once he was away and truly free. He hoped they would at least be able to keep things the way they were until Jean left Palmetto.

Jean intertwined his fingers with Neil’s and stared down at them for a moment, then he said, “But I think I would like to keep this. You are the first real choice I made for myself since the Nest. I think maybe the distance will be good if you are okay with it. I can learn how to be my own person there, but we can still have…” Jean trailed off as if he was lost for words to define what they were, then finally he just gestured between them. “This.”

Neil reconsidered the conversation that he had thought was going to be a breakup but had somehow turned to talk of continuing this even when they were at separate universities, then asked, “Would we still keep this secret?”

“I am sick of keeping secrets,” Jean said. “I do not have to hide caring about you. I do not see any point in hiding this if you do not.”

“Okay,” Neil said.

“Okay?” Jean asked and his brow furrowed as if he was confused by how easily the answer had come.

Neil kissed the wrinkle between his eyes and was satisfied when he leaned back and saw that it had smoothed out.

He leaned in to kiss Jean again, this time on the lips and Jean let him reassure him that this was what he really wanted.

“I guess this means I don’t have to wait until everyone is asleep to sneak into your room at night,” Neil commented as he angled his mouth away but left his forehead pressed against Jean’s.

“I guess this means you don’t have to wake me up sneaking out every morning before Kevin wakes Andrew and you up for your practice,” Jean retorted.

* * *

For once, Neil didn’t wake up to an alarm on his phone vibrating against the table. The only reason Neil even kept his phone charged was that he plugged it in in Jean’s room at night so that the battery would stay alive for long enough to get him up in time.

This time, Neil woke up late in the morning with his pillow wet from drool and an arm draped over Jean.

“You are not an attractive sleeper,” Jean greeted him.

Neil scowled at him, but Jean was used to it and just laughed. He knew he wasn’t in any real danger from Neil.

“What time is it?” Neil asked.

Jean checked his phone, then set it down and said, “Just after eleven.”

“ _Eleven?_ ” Neil asked. “I should have already practiced with Kevin and Andrew. Why didn’t Kevin wake me up?”

“He probably could not find you,” Jean suggested. “Maybe he assumed you were already at the court or went for a run. You are definitely going to hear about this later.”

Neil groaned. “I should have been there.”

Jean didn’t bother arguing with Neil that it was only one missed practice. He knew what it was like for one missed practice to feel like the end of the world after years of never being allowed to miss one.

“We can practice extra later,” Jean said. “Not every practice has to be with Kevin to be worthwhile.”

It was quiet for a moment and Neil played with Jean’s fingers. Jean stayed silent, content to stay in bed with Neil for as long as they could before someone would inevitably figure out that Neil hadn’t left the house yet after all.

“You know, we’re never going to hear the end of this out of Nicky once he finds out I slept in here,” Neil pointed out.

“So let’s stay in bed for a while longer,” Jean said. “I like the quiet. I don’t hear it a lot with you.”

“Fuck you,” Neil retorted.

“It’s okay,” Jean told him. “I like that you have a mouth on you and I like finding ways to keep you quiet.”

“Why don’t you try one out now?” Neil suggested and Jean could feel him smile against his lips as he kissed him to shut him up.


End file.
